It Ends With Us is a film about generational trauma and choosing yourself. Lily is a florist, exploring a new relationship with Ryle after a childhood in an abusive home. This review reflects the views of six survivors of domestic violence.
While we appreciated the effort to make a movie about the catastrophic effects of domestic violence and liked certain aspects of the film, it fell short at times. There were missed opportunities to show the details of the abuse, and how it affected Lily’s life every day. It was empowering and validating to show how even a strong, successful and independent woman like Lily can fall victim to someone like Ryle. Domestic violence has no boundaries and can happen to anyone. It’s vital to show how people from all backgrounds and walks of life can find themselves in an abusive relationship.
We agreed that the most effective tool the movie employed was how they chose to film the scenes with the oven and when Ryle pushes Lily down the stairs. When each scene initially happens, the audience is left wondering what occurred. Did Ryle accidentally hit Lily in the face when he burned his hand, and did she trip and fall down the stairs? In a series of flashbacks, the audience learns that neither incident was an accident. Ryle has been gaslighting Lily to make her think each situation was an accident. This is a very common tactic for abusers as it makes the victim doubt their own recollection of an event and can change their memory over time. It’s extremely powerful and has serious effects.
We were also quite moved at the scene when Lily asks her mom why she stayed with her dad. Her mom tells her it was easier to stay – this is highly relatable as it shows how difficult it is to successfully leave an abusive relationship. This scene also illustrates how the cycle of abuse can easily continue if someone doesn’t have the knowledge and resources to leave.
The friendship Lily had with Ryle’s sister was powerful. Even though his sister has loyalty towards her brother, she knows Lily has to leave him. Domestic violence affects the victim, their family, friends, health, job and more. The types of relationships are complicated and fraught with stress, anxiety and a lack of control.
Overall, it was a strong adaptation of the book. We hope they make a film based off of the sequel and include a more nuanced representation of the aftermath of domestic violence on Lily’s life. The entire cast and crew also need to make a more concerted effort to use their platforms to create awareness of domestic violence, provide resources for victims and survivors and advocate for tougher laws for abusers. It Ends With Us is not a cute, fun, lighthearted movie. Rather, it’s a film about how domestic violence corrodes away at its victims until someone leaves, it escalates to the point of needing to get law enforcement involved or to the point of no return.
The national helpline for domestic violence is 800.799.SAFE.
